


Eating Me Away

by TheRedLotusFlower88



Series: And It Hurts Like Hell [1]
Category: Jak and Daxter, Persona 5, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt Jak, Hurt Kaneki, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Police Brutality, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mental Instability, hurt Akira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 08:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedLotusFlower88/pseuds/TheRedLotusFlower88
Summary: Sometimes, we are not okay, and maybe that's what hurts the most.





	1. AkiRyu

It hurts.

It hurts to see him like this, to see him becoming the former shadow of himself. It hurts to see him push them, push _him_ , away and pretend nothing is wrong. It hurts to see him act as if his torture was nothing new, as if he _deserved_ it. It hurts to see his confidence falter, to see him flinching at the slightest bit of touch, to know that the boy who came into their lives with a drive to help others, who bared no judgement except to the ones who wrongly accused others, no longer exist. His eyes were devoid of any emotions, only a cool, blank look in its place, and he is so, so quiet these days. He hasn't been that way before, not since meeting Ryuji and the others, and now it just feels _wrong_ to have the one guy they all look up to be the same as he had been. Before, Akira had been witty and full of life, replying to certain comments with a snarky remark. There had been a small smile on his face as he grew comfortable around the ring he calls friends, growing more and more confident as they continued battling corrupted adults and the like.

Now, it all just seemed like a thing of the past.

Ryuji hates it. He hates that Akira was like this now, so silent and only dealing with them when business calls. He hates the short answers, and a simple glare that stops anyone from talking to him when asked about a certain event, he hates that Akira closed himself off, and worse of all, he hates the lost of trust.

It wasn't even them who started it, and that's what kills Ryuji the most. It had to be the police officers that took him, because Akira didn't appear to them with marks on his face and body before. They, _he_ , had been supportive of Akira since the beginning, with Ryuji, who had his own shares of trouble, feeling so _honored_ that Akira trusts _him_ despite having only just met each other, and now they were paying the price for someone else's actions. Akira wasn't as playful anymore, and anything bothering him was quick to be concealed, despite the rest of the team's begging to help him.

And maybe what breaks Ryuji's heart even more was the fact that their strong bond isn't quite as strong pre-interrogation.

They had been close. So close. Ryuji would tell Akira anything, and the raven would just sit there and listen patiently to him, never judging, never insulting. He simply lets Ryuji rant and bitch, and all he does is share his opinion on the subject, before moving on quickly to cheer Ryuji up from whatever had him down. Their banters had been borderline flirting, if Ryuji was being perfectly honest, and the blond had soaked it all up like a sponge - so happy to have a friend again, content with small talks and, if he was honest with himself, hoping for something more out of it. In all his life, Ryuji could happily say that he had fallen in love with another man - and he didn't mind it. Not really.

But all those things went out the window the moment Akira came back to them, bruised and looking worn down.

Ryuji wanted to scream.

 _How dare they? How dare they hurt **my** Akira?! _He had to swallow a lot of angry swears, and stopped himself from going off on a rant as he helped Akira with his wounds. For each bruise Ryuji had spot, the thoughts in his head got darker and darker, with tears burning in his eyes. He's not sure why he's crying when Akira isn't, but he's upset that someone _dared_ put their dirty hands on Akira, had hurt him badly - not only physically, but emotionally. The cuts and the bruises, the swelling of his cheek, the bloodstains, the fact that Akira was flinching and whimpering, him trying to brush it off - all of it was enough for Ryuji to go on a rampage - straight towards the Police Station.

He knows it's a bad idea, and he's pretty sure everyone, including Boss, would reprimand him for it. But he can't find himself to care when he's facing an Akira that only served to piss him off and not in the fun way, like the Cocky, Flirty Akira Ryuji knows and is usually the target of such ( _this counts as something more right???)._ This Akira was more of self-destructive, because only _he_ deems himself as expandable, as if his life was a mere joke, and Ryuji takes an issue with that because it's down right hypocritical when it comes down to it.

Akira hates it whenever Ryuji tries to offer himself up whenever a job needed to be done, at the cost of his life. Yet, with a cool, calm demeanor, Akira would do the same damn things he would chaste Ryuji for, and in the end, it hurts Ryuji because it makes him feel like _he's not enough_. Akira came a long way from that, from that perfectly blank look on his face, and now they were back to square one; all because of the shitty adults that thought _beating down a kid_ would be funny.

He started to stroke Akira's hair, causing the teen to tense and look at him warily. Ryuji felt despair come over him, a sickening feeling crawling inside his gut. He didn't want that look anymore - he didn't want Akira to build carefully put-in-place walls to keep their friends - to keep _him_ \- out.

"I'm right here, man." He said, in hopes that Akira was listening and realize that he didn't have to pretend that everything is okay when it isn't.

The bruises may heal, but the emotional impact left behind that interrogation, when he was captured, will take longer. But Ryuji could wait, if it means having the Akira that always smiled and being sarcastic back.   


	2. HideKen

The change in Kaneki was something Hide wasn't quite use to, nor would he ever. It was such a drastic change from the boy he grew up with, up until they went to college, going to that god forsake café that changed everything. No longer was Kaneki that shy bookworm that barely had any friends, in fact, Hide is pretty sure that boy died the moment he'd met Rize.

Something about that caused Hide's gut to squirm.

Not for the first time the blond blamed himself for Kaneki's misfortune. If he had told him about what he feels about Rize, maybe none of this would've happened. Maybe Hide could've spooked Kaneki a bit more with his ghoul stories, making him wary of anyone he has eyes for. Or maybe....

Or maybe Kaneki would still be a human, never falling into the hands of Yamori.

Bile started to reach his throat as he thought of the man, and Hide did everything he could not to throw up.

Hide had done his research even _before_ the man in white showed up. He knew the horrible things that were done on him, he does it tenfold on his victims. He knew Yamori wasn't like the other ghouls, with his mind twisted from the horrors and torture he had to endure, and would rather feast upon his own kin than to eat a human, as rare as it is. He knew Yamori was basically the ring leader of the Agori Tree, that circled around the 20th ward, on the hunt for something, or rather, someone.

Rize.

And before Hide could even warn Kaneki about anything, he had been too late. He came to the shop, only to find it closed the next day, and that horrible feeling in his gut grew. He had raced all the way back to his apartment and turned on the tracker that he had placed when he had a little run-in with the big man himself previously.

To this day, he can still hear Kaneki's frighten breaths.

With Hide, everything of importance was a blur as he focused on Kaneki's whimpers, and begs, and listen to him scream whenever Yamori was torturing him. He forced himself to listen to all of it, the _please's_ and the _no more's,_ and the _counting_. Hearing Kaneki panic whenever he messed up, listening to him cry as Yamori took pleasure in his pain. And the one thing that really impacted him, that couldn't bear listening to, was...was....

Yamori sexually assaulting him.

The _No! Stop! Get away from me!_ rang inside his head as Hide ran to his bathroom and puked his guts out, body trembling, tears swelling in his eyes as Kaneki's screams and sobs were heard in the background, as well as Yamori's disgusting moans. All it did was make Hide feel like a bad friend, curling in on himself as if _he_ was the one being violated. Perhaps what breaks his heart even more was when Kaneki had begged for death during one of his sessions with the giant. It had made him realize that Yamori had pushed Kaneki to his breaking point, to have him begged to be killed, just so he didn't have to deal with what Yamori was putting him through. Of course, Yamori, the sick bastard, didn't let Kaneki get off that easy and continued to torture him in everyway he knew. Hide remembers a conversation about some sort of a centipede, and the next thing he knew, Kaneki was  _screaming_ , going near hysterics. He heard Yamori laugh, telling him to 'dance monkey, dance!' and Hide  _couldn't_....

The raid to save Kaneki may have happened, but by then, it was already too late. Kaneki had saved himself, but not without the consequences of Yamori's actions.

Pushed far enough that Kaneki gave into his ghoul side completely, had enough power to fight back against him, and then _devoured_ him when he was defeated. There had been no smile, his beautiful grey eyes a cool nonchalant of indifference, and his fingers...oh his fingers. They were completely broken, probably unable to heal properly, and completely black. His hair, once midnight, was now white as snow. Beautifully broken, if Hide felt poetic enough, but at the same time, this isn't the Kaneki he wanted. It's not the Kaneki he knew.

The aftermath of the torture left Kaneki in a different state than he had been; developing nightmares, his screams of pain echoing, and more than once, Hide had heard the sound of skin crackling, and saw a beautiful, shimmering red object spurting from Kaneki's back, meeting the mismatched eyes in the dark of their shared room. He's on high alert, he always is these days, and Hide could see the form of a snarl coming across Kaneki's lips in a warning.

_Don't touch me._

It broke Hide's heart as he watched his best friend, his love, turn into something he isn't. He wants to help, but he doesn't know how, and Kaneki, well, Kaneki is still facing his demons. The road to recovery isn't easy, he knows that, but he hopes he could lessen the pain somehow. For now, all Hide has is apologies.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Kaneki said nothing, just kept staring at him, before turning away. For a moment, Hide thought he didn't hear a word he said when-

"It isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself." _Then how come it feels like it is?_ Hide wanted to ask, but didn't. Instead, he kept silent, watching the newly made Kaneki, and wondering.

 _I promise I'll protect you more._  


	3. Jaxter

Daxter hated himself.

Granted, maybe that wasn't too surprising when you realize just how kilter his self-confidence really is; ranging anywhere from annoyingly confident, borderline overbearing, to no confidence at all, being passed around as a coward. Self-loathing wasn't really something new, it's been that way since he could remember, but this one, this type of loathing was different. This loathing came from an action that inadvertently affected someone else, someone dear to him.

Jak.

He hated himself the very moment he'd encouraged Jak to open the portal, going through it to a whole new world, one that turned theirs upside down on its head. He hated himself the very moment he'd jumped out of the way when the Krimzon Guards came, frighten, and unable to help as he watch them take Jak away after knocking him unconscious. He hated himself because he couldn't do _anything_ about it; he was an Ottsel, a creature many considered a rodent, and was often looked down upon. And maybe it would've been better he hadn't done anything, as they surely would have no problem "accidentally" stepping on him, and that was something Jak probably didn't want happening to him (worse would've been if they had - right in front of him); still didn't mean he wasn't going to spend that last years of their lives not feeling guilty about abandoning his best friend. And, he especially hated himself when, after two long years, when he finally, _finally_ found him again....

Jak changed.

No longer that mute boy in Sandover with wild, innocent, blue eyes and had a sense of adventure, but instead a harden warrior on a warpath with a temper that was short-fused enough to make dynamite green with envy. No longer that boy that was all smiles and a tinged bit of playful, but a man with an angry scowl on his face, and the definition of _play_ were two entirely different things faced with the Jak Daxter has now. No longer was Jak that kid everyone thought Daxter was dragging down, because _he_ was the troublemaker - often - and Jak, while a guilty party (after all, _whose_ idea was it to go to Misty Island again?), was usually the one more responsible of the two, thus, more reliable; now _Jak's_ the one causing the most trouble, and Daxter has to be the one to keep a clear head for the both of them, if, for anything, to better their lives and the parties involved.

It effen' _hurts_.

He hates that their dynamic is like this now, that Jak was too angry, too _hurt_ to care much about anything else except getting to Praxis and exacting his revenge on Haven's leader.

But Daxter blames himself for it, for all of it.

While Daxter was busy searching, Jak was brought into a cold, unwelcoming jail cell, like a trapped animal, with leaders that were planning to do something horrible to him. While Daxter spent most of his time trying to survive, Jak was being chained to a cold, hard, metal table, being pumped full of Dark Eco. While Daxter was looking for connections, Jak had been beaten and bruised in his own cell, being mocked by the Krimzon guards that just so happens to be passing by. While Daxter was able to find someone to help him, Jak couldn't defend himself against Erol's advances (he only knows that because sometimes, Jak would wake up, pushing Daxter away from him, and refusing to let Daxter even touch his shoulder). While Daxter was bug hunting, Jak was doomed to repeat this cycle again and again, sometimes giving up hope on him being saved, while almost going near insane whenever he thought about Daxter, thinking he was there, and forcing himself to retreat into his mind whenever Erol or the Krimzon Guards came.

The end result was an angry, hell-raising, blondie that has a gun and was _not_ afraid to use it. Moreover, all that Dark Eco being pumped into him had also given him another gift besides anger issues - a dark alter ego. A.K.A Dark Jak.

Thinking about him caused shivers to up Daxter's spine.

He'll never admit it to anyone, but himself, but Dark Jak was scary. It had been clear that though he acted like a wild, thoughtless animal, he was _far_ from it. There was intelligence in those unblinking, abyss looking, eyes, but the problem was that Jak was so, so, _angry_ whenever he was like this. If nothing else, those eyes shown pure pain and agony, and Jak was unleashing all of that in one simple, effective, method - conquer and destroy. Dark Eco crackled into the air, making the fur on Daxter's body stand, and he could feel the change happening underneath his paws and feet. A silent snarl leaving Jak's lips, and suddenly, the Jak - the Haven's Jak - was no longer home. And it frightens him to hell and back because then Jak _doesn't remember anything that happened during the time he goes Dark Jak._

He hates this world, it was far different than Sandover, he hates the Precursor that left their Precursor crap all over the place for little kids to find, he hates the Krimzon Guards and like for taking and changing Jak this way, he hates Torn for giving them a hard time, and more importantly, he hated himself. He hated the fact that he couldn't do anything for Jak, when Jak needed him the most. After all their time together, after all the times Jak saved his butt, and he never really got a proper 'thank you' - when it was his time to shine, all Daxter could do was hide and stare as they took Jak away, not knowing what they were going to do to him until it was too late. Jak may not give him a hard time about it, but he kind of wishes he did so they both know, _yeah, I'm kind of a useless sidekick, aren't I_?

Jak will never say that to him though. He loves Daxter, he was his best friend, and he'll never blame him for the circumstances that left them into this mess.

But thinking about Jak when they were in Sandover, and where they are now, who Jak _is_ now, was breaking Daxter's heart and all he wanted to do is cry.

 _I'm sorry,_ he wanted to say. _I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to save you. I'm sorry I abandon you. I'm sorry for all the things Praxis and Erol put you through. I am just so sorry Jak._

Almost as if sensing his thoughts, or maybe he really was crying, Jak placed a hand on his head. Daxter looked up at him, sky blue meeting ocean ( _they use to be so much more lighter_ ), a seldom look coming across the ex-mute elf's face.

 _It is not your fault._ His eyes seem to say. That only made Daxter cry harder.

 _I just want to take your pain away._ Daxter wanted to say.

Maybe one day, he will have Jak from Sandover again. For right now, he'll have to live with Haven's Jak and his regrets.    

      


End file.
